Update, On Life

So I haven't written in my blog for a very long time. I finally am taking the time to do so. I feel that everyone has been anxiously waiting for some news so I need to finally write something. I'm thinking that this blog might touch on a more personal level than any other previous post that I have written yet then again I can't remember, I haven't written in a while...

I'd say the past month has been the most challenging over all the time that I have been here in France. Not just because the level of difficulty of studies not as well as several emotional ups and downs and a change in my philosophy on life. There are several reason for this and today I spent the day reflect on where I am right now.

On a slight side note, I ran into the President of our French Program today and we had a nice talk. He helped me realign some of my thoughts and it was good to talk to someone with a good level of international experience and wisdom.


1) Since my American amigo left life has been a bit different here. I feel in a way like I have lost a best friend and it hasn't been exactly easy. I was looking forward to the chances to meet new people but there is something about a good friend that people really need in life. Being American he was the only friend that I could relate to on an American level. Any inside joke and connection that had anything to do with American culture we could could joke about. It is the kind of thing that is impossible to share with foreign friends because it is impossible to connect on that level without being able to relate to the American life experience. On the other hand, I now have a more clear view point of what feels like to be a foreigner. My cultural background is more unique because I can no longer have a close friend that is American.

2) My mediation schedule has been more sporadic. I'm no longer sticking to the daily meditation because I stopped feeling like I was getting the same level of daily return as I used to feel. Yet since they meditations clear the mind up not doing them has lead me to start worrying about more things. I'm not sure if I can explain to you home much you chill out after meditating but problems DO NOT exist if your meditation time is truly effective.

3) I have been proud at the level of French that I have reached since I have been hear but I felt a strong urge to really boots my level of fluency. I wanted to enter the superior level of French class yet realized I have not yet achieved the level of proficiency that is required. In the superior level you have both French language class as well as classes in French at the University. I can understand a lot of French in the University Courses because I have already attended quite a few of them. The problem is that it was leaving me exhausted on a daily basis. The concentration level required was starting to burn me out. I discussed it with my professors and they all felt that I was not quite yet ready for the superior level. After swallowing a bit of my pride since I caused a fuss about going into the higher I decided to rest at the DEF level. Yet I still am searching on a way to further improve my French.

4) I started getting frustrated with being single for so long. One thing that is funny about human behavior is that we all have this sense to search and find another person. We are social creatures by nature yet on top of this finding a partner is crucial to the survival of our specials. As a result people have a strong urge to try to connect to another personal at an intimate level. For me I took a different approach of becoming friends with a bunch of girls and discovering a bit about female nature in each one of my friends. I have developed a strong appreciation for each of the individual qualities that each of my friends possesses. Yet the downside is it is like having way too many crushes at one time. It makes your head go a bit crazy. I have witnessed some changes in some of my friends that has been fascinating. I think for a lot of us' being here in France has been a way to really develop our character. I have noticed some of my friends to grow into more developed individuals intellectually and emotionally.

5) During the break I decided to take a new approach on life in general. I have had a grand history of being cautious and tending to wait things out. Yet I know that hesitating my way through life and waiting for things happens isn't really in my long term plans. I have read up a lot on personal development and philosophies on life, success and fulfillment. One thing that successful people have in common is that they don't really wait around for things to happen. They make things happen. So I started scheduling time to hang out with people instead of waiting for invites as I tend to due. The week was great at the end of the week is when my life became a lot more occupied...

6) In retrospect it was the natural flow events of what happened next. I am currently in a relationship with my roommate. We have always liked each other yet since I dropped resistances she was the natural flow. It has been an amazing time to really learn more about myself. Yet combined with studies and having 2 presentations and a project to work, on top of being sick, I have needed to readjust how to manage my time. This has been a really good change for me I just need to figure out how to manage my time now. I feel life my sense of responsibility has increased it is always nice to have someone directly help you develop.

Overall I have spent the last month laughing, crying, and living harder than I have done so in a long time. During the past month I have determined both why I want to return the the US and never feel the need to return again. I have seen the good in the bad and worst for the better. It has been a nice way to put myself back into life and rediscover the appreciation I have for life in general. France has definitely changed me and for the past few weeks it has blossomed into a different level.

Perhaps the biggest thing that I have relearned is the importance of experience. Experience is far more powerful than theory because the perspective is real. A person could have theories about the way things work but experience is way more valuable. With experiences is how an individual develops and grows.

I have pretty much covered the big points that have lead to the change in my life. For those of you that don't read up on the personal development community I would recommend doing so because it puts a really nice perspective on things. It is always good to have a different perspective because it keeps a dynamic a creative level of thinking. If you haven't looked into him yet Steve Pavlina covers a diverse and interesting assortment of subjects.

I hope that these series of digressions have somewhat been able to summarize my current life. I will see if I can start getting more regular blogs going again. I really find value in when people comment because feedback is crucial for getting value out of the time I spend to write an entry. It might help if I proofread as well... Also if anyone has any questions about life in France I would love to hear from you.